Celentano Funeral Home - Yale Daily News
Mar 6, 2019It’s a huge building, with bare white walls and a flat roof and a long row of columns along the patio. All the windows are shuttered. No one seems to enter or leave. But every night, the sign outside lights up like a billboard on the highway — “Celentano Funeral Home.” I imagine reading: “Next exit.” I live across the street in the attic of a big green house, overlooking all this. I’ve been trying to convince myself that the building is haunted. Like an ancient shrine, or a Roman monument. There isn’t actually anything wrong with it — I just think it would be easier to have guests over if I had a good story. People are always asking what I think of the funeral home, expecting a clever quip.Here’s what I think about sometimes, when they ask. A boy at my school died a few weeks ago. I didn’t know him, or anyone who knew him, but my mom read about it and called me. I was at Walmart. They have this new thing at Walmart where you can order furniture online and pick it up from a giant orange tower in the store. I punched in my code and waited. My mom, on the phone, was quiet. I think I was supposed to say something — that I knew him, that I was sad, that I was crying in the middle of this Walmart between an oversized orange tower and two men arguing over a Gatorade. In the end I hung up, because for some reason I had started smiling, and this didn’t seem like the right answer. —One night in August, a friend and I went up to my roof for fresh air. We dangled our feet off the ledge, sucking on a handful of ice cubes and watching as the Celentano funeral sign flickered across the street. We could hear a radio program playing in the neighboring house — the weather channel, I think, and later, an orchestra concert. The night settled into its usual rhythm, with the heat and some crickets and the program from next door, until the radio started to play a new tune: “Frère Jacques, Frère Jacques, Dormez-vous?” There aren’t any lyrics...